i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
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