hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
