32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
