i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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