Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
