Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
