Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
