and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
