Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
