Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize