this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
