what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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