When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
