She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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