I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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