If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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