There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
