Can i not drive my cunt home
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
