My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
