I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
