her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
She said her name was "party"
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
3 2 1 whiskey
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
