Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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