doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
