you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
