Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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