one might say we're banned from that church
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He called his prostate his "boner button".
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
