This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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