that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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