all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
