As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
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