somebody snuck up and got me drunk
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
