you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize