I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
