i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize