my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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