We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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