she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Is it penis luge time yet?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
