I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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