There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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