Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I currently don't understand fingers.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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