I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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