You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
You're so nebulous sometimes
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
