so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
We don't watch enough power rangers
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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