happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
