My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
