If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just invented taco cereal.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Randomize
