we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
