Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Do vagina's smell?
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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