he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
