Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
