my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
