I'm really into asian looking animals
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
