She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Randomize
