She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
