Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
