Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
