I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
