i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
