her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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