S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
You are a genius and a whore.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
