in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
