it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
