there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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