I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
