Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
