i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
