Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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