i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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