Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
