ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Randomize
