Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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